The last years have been intense, full of worries and this anxiety
always present. Scared of what was to come. If the last years
were filled with angst,
the last months have been a living nightmare.
Weekends spent driving to see you, trying to find words
of hope and assurance, while at the same time
being full of dread and panic myself. To much dread
to even find words for it. How would I find the strength
to face a future without you? How could I ever cope without
my mom?
And the dreaded day did come and now
I have to start facing a new truth. I will have
to find a way to cope without you.
Who will find the right words now – when all I
want to do is talk to you? Who could possibly fill
the space you are leaving behind?
Will this emptiness
stay forever?
I hoped that in beautiful Italy I would heal some, would
forget some and would find some hope.
What I found in Venice
was colours that made my heart beat,
water that soothed my soul,
sights that made me want more,
scents that made me dream
and people that made me smile.
On the outside I felt good, but on the inside I still felt numb,
still only you on my mind.
.............................
camera: bronica sq-a
film: kodak portra 160
© nicole sprekelmann
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