A day that should not have been,
a day that will forever stay in my mind as a black sunday.
Worries have turned blue skies into dark clouds today.
Today has been all about my mom,
the next weeks and month will be all about her.
It amazes me how one second can change everything.
From a peaceful morning
things can turn in the blink of an eye.
How everything feels so much more intense on those days.
a second might turn into hours, a breath will feel slow and
suffocating instead of healthy and clean. Light that usually is soothing
feels frightening today.
A prayer, that is what is needed I guess.
But not even that I am up to.
My head is empty of words, most of the day even
empty of feelings.
All I can feel is that this is too big for me to feel.
I shuffle away in tiny little steps, well aware of my inner turmoil,
well aware that tomorrow
I will have to find a better way to cope.
But today I allow myself to simply ignore any feeling.
.............................
camera: nikon fm2n
film: kodak tri-x
© nicole sprekelmann
