FLORENCE SUNDOWN

Florence.

 I am getting lost in the city – from morning till night.

I am drowning in its beauty, taking in the music and its magical light.

Walking past the river, climbing steps to take a break on piazza

michelangelo, with magnificent view over the entire city. 

Drinking the most delicious coffee in little side streets, 

talking to strangers while the sun is slowly sinking into

the river.

A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE

This is a trip down memory lane, exactly the way I intended it to be.

The moment I step onto the small island I feel as if I am stepping back

into the past. I am my teenage self again, wandering the streets with 

my best friend. Two young girls full of mischief and laughter. 

We roamed these streets together like two stray cats, 

understanding each other blindly. 

I am sitting near Santa Maria della Salute, 

feet dangling in the water while I savor my figs. 

They will forever be the taste of Italy to me.

Remembering how we would live on ice-cream back then, 

tasting a new flavor with every cone we bought, 

grinning from ear to ear licking our  share of lampone,

limone and vaniglia.  

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camera: bronica sq-a

film: kodak portra 160

© nicole sprekelmann

PAINFUL SILENCE

The silence between us seems to seep into every pore, crawling under my skin,

leaving me feel hurt and confused. I can only hear the voices inside my head,

remembering all those beautiful moments, getting lost on the roads to 

the past. A past that holds so many happy words and laughter. A past 

that knew no sadness. A past that is just that – past.

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camera: bronica sq-a

film: kodak portra 160 nc, expired

© nicole sprekelmann

LOST AND CONFUSED

So what to do when the fog is slowly closing in on you?

You can feel it settling onto your skin, gripping you with it's

cold and wet fingers, giving you the shivers.

So what to do when the it is slowly closing in on you, 

blocking your view and making you stumble?

Trying to find your way through its dense little droplets.

So what to do when the fog is clouding your vision

and you don't know what is right and what is wrong,

Not knowing  which direction to turn, feeling all 

lost and confused.

What to do when all there is to see are those memories.

Memories and the fog. So what to do?

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camera: bronica sq-a

film: tri-x, expired

© nicole sprekelmann

DRUNK ON WORDS

words

have

no

reality

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camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak portra

© nicole sprekelmann

IMAGINE

If you can imagine it,

you can archive it;

if you can dream it, 

you can become it.

William Arthur Ward

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camera: bronica sq-a

film: kodak portra 160 nc, expired

© nicole sprekelmann

ETERNITY

The old magnolia in my back garden has been giving shade for decades.

The first rays of spring sun start kissing my skin while I am sitting underneath

this old tree, that has seen so many springs. I am mesmerized

by the soft magentas and whites that dance around in the soft breeze. A slight scent

lingers, mixing with the scent of my morning coffee. I am looking up, into those 

countless leaves, willing my brain to take in this stunning picture in for eternity.

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camera: bronica sq-a

film: kodak portra 160 nc, expired

© nicole sprekelmann

LIKE LEAVES

Each has his past shut in him like leaves of a 

book known to him by his heart, 

and his friends can only read the title.

Virginia Woolf

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camera: bronica sq-a

film: kodak portra 160 nc

© nicole sprekelmann

NEW LOVE

I have waited for quite some time for my new love. I have been searching for the right medium 

format film camera for ages until I found her, my now sweetheart. She might not be the 

one I take with me every day, but she is definitely one who reminds me to think

before I shoot. She is one to make me giddy and amazed about the miracle that 

takes place when taking a picture. She is the one to remind me to take a deep breath

and think before snapping away.

I still have to find the focus... still have to learn...

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camera: bronica sq-a

film: kodak tri-x

© nicole sprekelmann

STORIES A HOUSE WOULD TELL

Today I sat quietly, listening to the little squeaks and tiny puffs of this house. There seem to be

very few floorboards that will not give you away when you are trying to tiptoe at night.

Old windows squeak as if they were complaining about their  having to constantly

battle the cold winter wind. Those old and very pretty doors seem to have a mind if their

own, too. Or is it visitors from the past who are silently opening doors when no one 

is looking? The odd occasion even had me wondering where a certain

little something - never seen before - came to stand in a certain place.

So today I spend some time listening. Listening very closely to the sounds around me,

listening to all those squeaks and shuffles...  Beyond all those everyday sounds I might hear 

the story this house has to tell. What if I could simply press my ear to those aged walls and 

I could sink into the depth of its history? All those memories, aged dreams and thoughts

these walls have been home to, just thinking about it makes my head spin.

Makes my head spin and my heat beat a little faster, wishing I could

hear that tiny voice a little louder, so I would get to know these stories.

Today will not be the last day I sat here quietly...

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camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak tri-x

© nicole sprekelmann

A BLACK SUNDAY OF WORRIES AND HOPE

A day that should not have been, 

a day that will forever stay in my mind as a black sunday.

Worries have turned blue skies into dark clouds today.

Today has been all about my mom,

the next weeks and month will be all about her.

It amazes me how one second can change everything. 

From a peaceful morning 

things can turn in the blink of an eye.

How everything feels so much more intense on those days.

a second might turn into hours, a breath will feel slow and 

suffocating instead of healthy and clean. Light that usually is soothing 

feels frightening today.

A prayer, that is what is needed I guess. 

But not even that I am up to. 

My head is empty of words, most of the day even 

empty of feelings. 

All I can feel is that this is too big for me to feel. 

I shuffle away in tiny little steps, well aware of my inner turmoil,

well aware that tomorrow 

I will have to find a better way to cope.

But today I allow myself to simply ignore any feeling. 

.............................

camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak tri-x

© nicole sprekelmann

PASTEL LIGHT

Soft light falls upon my pale skin and brings some pastel hues. Will this turn darkness into light?

Will the powdery softness and those gentle tones turn the inner turmoil into something

less painful and disturbing? Will light, that traveled so far to kiss my skin bring the much

sought after peace and calm? 

.............................

camera: nikon fm2

film: kodak portra 400

© nicole sprekelmann

SHINE ME SOME HAPPINESS

Breathing in bright rays of light that come visiting this morning. I let them tickle my winter skin

and brighten up the quiet sadness of the endless darkness. Drinking in the golden glow in

urgent gulps, embracing every spec of glittering dust dancing in the newfound brightness.

Pushing away every thought, just be, feeling lost in the bright glow.

.............................

camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak portra 200

© nicole sprekelmann

WINTER SOUL AND CHRISTMAS THOUGHTS

Scanning negatives and drinking strong coffee, 

christmas music is softly playing. 

I just love this festive mood all around, this very

special time of year. I love waking up to the hope of snow,

sitting in bed cuddled up in warm blankets. I love all the 

twinkly lights casting a cozy glow, bringing back sweet 

childhood memories. 

.............................

camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak portra 400

© nicole sprekelmann

A TASTE FIR THE NEW YEAR

A year of small changes and big insights is nearing the end.

I usually get a little melancholic towards the end of each year. Time seems to

be passing quicker than ever and I seem to be running around like

a lunatic, totally missing out on peaceful and quiet moments.

I wish I could instead sit quietly and remember some of the year,

reminisce about 2013. 

What had the biggest impact on me the past year? What were the best moments

this year? Which ones were the ones I would have liked to have missed? Which goals

have been archived and which have been missed? What were the moments that

influenced me the most, that made me want to strive for more?

2013 had many moments that moved me, made me take a look inside. There were many

sad moments, family stuff burdening me down throughout the year. At the same time I had

many wonderful moments and inspiring encounters. 

Was I inspired to grow in 2013?  Yes, there were many of those moments that make one

get down to work and grow. I found renewed passion for creativity and the wish to explore

and go different ways. Many beautiful moments were spent dreaming up projects for

the future, wishing for things that seem too far to reach. But those usually leave the 

sweetest taste. A taste for what 2014 will bring. 

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CAMERA: NIKON FM2N

FILM: KODAK PORTRA 400