Beyond words

I don't sleep well at all. There is something that keeps me awake at night, keeps haunting me when

I don't watch closely. I am watching the moon, trying to find some meaning, trying

to figure out what lays beyond all of these words. Words that are whispered in the dark of 

the night, words that end up as a line of sepia ink on creamy paper. Words that are 

listened to in some beautiful song, telling a story of a forty six year old.

Words that are being remembered from years ago, friends whispering little secrets that

would be kept forever. Words read over and over in an old love letter, no matter how 

alive they were then, they are still bound to fade one day. Words that tell of a saturday night

with a girl who danced the night away, never to be seen again. Words that were 

meant to hurt and will do so no matter what. Words that tell of fun times 

at the beach, sitting with your sweetheart, sitting around a fire and

listening to the soft whispers of the ocean. Words that will never

be remembered beyond the ocean. Words that are reserved

for just the two of you, words that give you a 

glimpse of hope and shelter. Some words are like songs and some are

like a knife, knowing that the bad ones will never be forgotten and the good 

ones will grow and grow. Some will stay with me forever, so deep,

so soft, so sincere and so true. Beyond.

PASTEL LIGHT

Soft light falls upon my pale skin and brings some pastel hues. Will this turn darkness into light?

Will the powdery softness and those gentle tones turn the inner turmoil into something

less painful and disturbing? Will light, that traveled so far to kiss my skin bring the much

sought after peace and calm? 

.............................

camera: nikon fm2

film: kodak portra 400

© nicole sprekelmann

SHINE ME SOME HAPPINESS

Breathing in bright rays of light that come visiting this morning. I let them tickle my winter skin

and brighten up the quiet sadness of the endless darkness. Drinking in the golden glow in

urgent gulps, embracing every spec of glittering dust dancing in the newfound brightness.

Pushing away every thought, just be, feeling lost in the bright glow.

.............................

camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak portra 200

© nicole sprekelmann

SILENT GREY

Leaden clouds are pushing each other across the horizont, 

as if competing in some silent race. 

I immerse myself into winter darkness, 

trying to block out January's bleakness. 

Eyes glazing over ever so slightly, fluttering in the last effort to stay open. 

Then closing to the sound of pelting rain, letting daydreams come flying in. 

The warmth if fluttering thoughts and dreams carry me away to another place. 

Somewhere beyond the grey of clouds rain and winter winds. 

.............................

camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak portra 400

© nicole sprekelmann

QUIET WINTER DAY

Wintertime is tea time, is time to quietly sit and reflect on the year that is coming to an end. 

I am sitting at the table, candles brightening a day that never even got light. The sky is

grey and full of rain, not willing to tell all those stories hidden in it's deep clouds. The light is 

slowly fading into darkness, another winter's day has passed without snow. 

.............................

camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak portra 200

© nicole sprekelmann

WINTER SOUL AND CHRISTMAS THOUGHTS

Scanning negatives and drinking strong coffee, 

christmas music is softly playing. 

I just love this festive mood all around, this very

special time of year. I love waking up to the hope of snow,

sitting in bed cuddled up in warm blankets. I love all the 

twinkly lights casting a cozy glow, bringing back sweet 

childhood memories. 

.............................

camera: nikon fm2n

film: kodak portra 400

© nicole sprekelmann

A TASTE FIR THE NEW YEAR

A year of small changes and big insights is nearing the end.

I usually get a little melancholic towards the end of each year. Time seems to

be passing quicker than ever and I seem to be running around like

a lunatic, totally missing out on peaceful and quiet moments.

I wish I could instead sit quietly and remember some of the year,

reminisce about 2013. 

What had the biggest impact on me the past year? What were the best moments

this year? Which ones were the ones I would have liked to have missed? Which goals

have been archived and which have been missed? What were the moments that

influenced me the most, that made me want to strive for more?

2013 had many moments that moved me, made me take a look inside. There were many

sad moments, family stuff burdening me down throughout the year. At the same time I had

many wonderful moments and inspiring encounters. 

Was I inspired to grow in 2013?  Yes, there were many of those moments that make one

get down to work and grow. I found renewed passion for creativity and the wish to explore

and go different ways. Many beautiful moments were spent dreaming up projects for

the future, wishing for things that seem too far to reach. But those usually leave the 

sweetest taste. A taste for what 2014 will bring. 

....................................

CAMERA: NIKON FM2N

FILM: KODAK PORTRA 400

A cup of cozy sunday

I wake up to a bleeping sound and the sound of raindrops against my windows. 

I had hoped to wake up to the soft silence of freshly fallen snow and a world

Caught up in magical glistening of softness all around. But i wasn't in luck this Sunday,

3rd advent. But even without the snow I was hoping for, a Sunday is a magical day.

It starts with a cup of coffee and soft music, some quiet moments spent slowly waking

up. It takes a while to focus, to wipe the sleep and strange dreams from my eyes. 

A strong coffe and some time later - minutes spent dreaming. 

I find myself thinking.

A Sunday should be made up of stolen 

seconds, minutes, hours.

Stolen from a dream, turned into some 

kind of reality of softest light, shadows and fabrics.

So I stole a second, a minute, an hour. I stole it to be with myself, 

lost in the here and now, but still far away. In that dream, 

in that soft light of this Sunday that faded away all too quickly. 

It was a Sunday of grays and tiny little rays of glistening sunshine peeking through.

A winter day filled with little tunes and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Laced with the musky

smell of old books and long forgotten words. 

 

 

 

Writing with light

 Catching the last rays of light some cold and rainy sunday afternoon. Holding a piping hot cup of freshly ground coffee brings back some warmth to my chilled bones. A weekend that was 

too short again, with so many things I didm't get around to will have to wait another week to

get done. Where did all those long Sundays of the past go, where one was lazing around for 

hours and still had plenty of time left for seeing friends, being creative, go for a ride or whatnot.

Nowadays my sundays seem to have less hours and are over in the blink of an eye. 

Well, never mind as long as I do get some alone time.

Never mind as long as I have some beautiful light streaming through my windows,

giving me the opportunity to shoot some, and to sit quietly at the table, sipping coffee,

just watching the light change ever so quickly. This time of year does have something magical,

something that brings a smile to my face for feeling all cozy and special. All this glistening

brings back wonderful memories of past winters, of long walks in the snow, of riding a sledge,

of soft music giving the perfect backdrop to beautiful moments.